小说论坛 -> 万国帖志 -> 【互动课堂】英语笑话课堂--每天happy



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雨衾 2008-04-10 18:05
An Adult Decision

 The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a have tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.

Notes:


  (1) constantly adv. 不断地


  (2) tattoo n. 文身


  (3) permission n. 允许


  (4) masculinity n. 阳性,男性


  (5) image n . 形象,肖像


  (6) Mickey Mouse 米老鼠


Exercises:


根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F):


  ① When the son pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, the mother thought her son was old enough to make an adult decision.


  ② A few days before his birthday, the son came home with a tattoo.


  ③ The mother wondered what symbol her son had chosen.


  ④ The image of Mickey Mouse on the son's shoulder was three inches long.


  ⑤ From the passage, we can see that the son really made an adult decision.


成年人的抉择


  我儿子十八岁前的那一年,他常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这样做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了,并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。果然,十八岁生日的几天后,他文了身,回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴,但出于好奇,我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。


练习参考答案:


① F ② F ③ T ④ F ⑤ F



Were on That Mountain Over There
My son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass to determine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronics engineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global Positioning System receiver.

  "I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above the earth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"


Notes:


  (1) hike v.远足;徒步旅行

  (2) Rockies n.(美国)落基山脉

  (3) compass n.罗盘

  (4) go off course 走下了道

  (5) electronics n.电子学


Exercises:


根据短文选择正确答案:


  ① Why did the mother and son become lost in the southern Rockies?


  A. Because they were hiking.

  B. Because the Rockies were too high.

  C. Because they were climbing too high.

  D. Because they had gone off course.


  ② What's the use of a compass?


  A. to determine where people have gone off course.

  B. to show people the correct direction.

  C. to make people confused about direction.

  D. to make people work well


  ③ What was the son?


  A. a mechanic

  B. a tourist guide

  C. an electronics engineer

  D. a traveller


  ④ How many satellites did the son lock the instrument on?


  A. One

  B. Two

  C. Three

  D. Four


  ⑤ What do you think of the son's way to solve the problem?


  A. It was a clever way.

  B. It was the only way.

  C. It wouldn't solve their problem.

  D. The son took too much of himself.


我们在那座山上


  落基山脉徒步旅行时,由于爬得太高,我和儿子都迷了路。我立刻拿出地图和罗盘来确定我们是在哪几走错了路。我的儿子是位电子学工程师,他却马上从包里拿出一个全球定位系统接收器。他很小心地把仪器锁定在地球上空的四个卫星上,认真地看了看仪器上的图。然后他自豪地宣布道:“我知道我们的确切位置了。我们就在那边的那个山上!”


练习参考答案:


① D ② B ③ C ④ D ⑤C

花落未殇 2008-04-10 22:36
厄。。。。。。最近看英语看伤了
不过还是支持楼主!!

(五羊) 2008-04-10 23:42
haha~~~ mickey mouse~~~~ hahaha~~~~~ a kid is a kid, no wonder~~~ haha~~~~~

GPS huh? i guess it doesn't come with a brain~~~ aahaahaa~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-11 09:18
下面是引用花落未殇于2008-04-10 22:36发表的:
厄。。。。。。最近看英语看伤了
不过还是支持楼主!!


Thanks for your aegis~~~~~~~

下面是引用(五羊)于2008-04-10 23:42发表的:
haha~~~ mickey mouse~~~~ hahaha~~~~~ a kid is a kid, no wonder~~~ haha~~~~~

GPS huh? i guess it doesn't come with a brain~~~ aahaahaa~~~~~~~


At lesat I know my sister--plutus sister will not ignore me ~

雨衾 2008-04-11 09:24
Ill Keep it on My Floor

My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.


  Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor. "


Notes


  (1) be proud of 为……感到自豪They were Very proud of their success.他们对他们的成功感到非常骄傲。


  (2) layer n.层


  (3) equipment n.设备


  (4) accompany v.陪伴


  (5) credit union 信用联社


  (6) account n.(银行)账户


  (7) process v.办理


  (8) accessible adj.可接近的,可用的


Exercises:


根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F)


  (1) The son was 17 years old.


  (2) The parents are very proud of Jeff.


  (3) The floor of Jeff' s room is always covered with layers of clothes, magazines, toys, and sports equipment.


  (4) The mother took Jeff to open their first bank account.


  (5) Jeff will keep the money on the floor.


放在地板上


  我的儿子杰弗,十六岁。他是一个令父母感到自豪的孩子,只是你别去看他房间的地板,那上面总是堆满了一层层的衣服、杂志及运动器材。


  不久前,我带杰弗到信用联社去开他自己的账户,这是他第一次开银行账户。当信用社职员在办理手续的时候,我便告诉杰弗说他需要一个安全可靠的地方来保存密码本。“我知道,妈妈,”他回答说,“我会在地板上找到地方的。”

练习参考答案

①F②T③F④F⑤T

(五羊) 2008-04-12 03:08
i'm on my floor, too~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-14 11:00
下面是引用(五羊)于2008-04-12 03:08发表的:
i'm on my floor, too~~~~~~~


I'm in my brain in my house every basement~~~~~~~HOHO~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-14 11:06
Talking clock

  会说话的钟


  While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"


  "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"


  一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓,甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了,那是一个会说话的钟”,学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”,他的朋友问。“看着,别眨眼了”,那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子,拼命地敲了一下,声音震耳欲聋。突然,他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫,“别敲了,你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”



Please don't imitate~~~~~~~~~~

(五羊) 2008-04-14 13:52
hahahaha~~~~~~~~

but it won't work in my house,'cause my house is 3m away from the next.

nyeh001 2008-04-14 18:45
呵呵~ 看笑话还可以学英文 真是不错啊~
谢谢楼主

芝麻豆腐 2008-04-14 20:04
Hahaha... I might try it someday...

When I have a gong.... ^__^

(五羊) 2008-04-14 21:00
下面是引用芝麻豆腐于2008-04-14 20:04发表的:
Hahaha... I might try it someday...

When I have a gong.... ^__^

用来叫醒某小子?哈哈哈哈~~~~~~~~~

休止 2008-04-14 21:16
哈哈````make me get up

休止 2008-04-14 21:53
Sleeping pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night .He went to see his doctor and he gave him some sleeping pills.

sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake before the alarm .He took his time getting to the office ,walked in and said to his boss:"i didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning ."

" that's fine ,"roared the boss ,"but where were you monday and tuseday ?"


安眠药

鲍勃晚上入睡有些困难。他去看医生,医生给了他一些安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,并且在闹铃响之前醒来。他不紧不慢地前往办公室,走进去并对老板说:“今天早上起来,我没有遇到任何困难。”

“那很好呀,”老板吼道:“可是你星期一和星期二去了那里?”

芝麻豆腐 2008-04-14 21:59
Sounds to me the sleeping pills are quite strong... ^ ^

咩老师
如果他住我隔壁的话就这么做好了   哦哈哈

雨衾 2008-04-15 09:06


Secret For a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."

"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

长寿秘诀

一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。

“我无意中发现,你是多么幸福,”那女士说。“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”

“我每天抽三包烟,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且从来不曾锻炼。”

“哦,真神奇,”女士说。“你高寿?”

“二十六。”

雨衾 2008-04-15 09:07
下面是引用休止于2008-04-14 21:53发表的:
Sleeping pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night .He went to see his doctor and he gave him some sleeping pills.

sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake before the alarm .He took his time getting to the office ,walked in and said to his boss:"i didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning ."
.......


HAHA

How long he sleep~~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-16 09:12
A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"


  Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"



Notes:



  (1) reminder n. 提醒

  (2) anniversary n.周年纪念

  (3) hint v.暗示

  (4) switch v.改变



Exercises:



根据短文选择正确答案:

  ① How long had the couple been married?
  A. 33 years
  B. 34 years
  C. 35 years
    D. 36 years

  ② When did the wife try to hint to her husband?
  A. in the morning
  B. at noon
  C. in the afternoon
  D. in the evening


  ③ What was the husband doing when his wife hinted to him?
  A. He was reading the newspaper.
  B. He was sweeping the floor. ,
  C. He was cooking.
  D. He was repairing the chairs.

  ④ The husband thought that his wife wanted to_____ .
  A. change the old chairs to new ones
  B. abandon the old chairs
  C. exchange each other's seat
  D. read his newspaper

  ⑤ The wife hinted to her husband that_____ .
  A. they should celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary
    B. they should change their old chairs to new ones
    C. they should exchange their seats
  D. they should buy another table



101.委婉提醒

  婚后已久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上,我们正坐在早餐桌旁,我暗示道:“亲爱的,你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”

  他放下报纸,眼睛直直地望着我:“因此,你想交换座位吗?”


练习参考答案:



①C②A③A④C⑤A

scarletkiki 2008-04-16 10:20
hehe, some times men really insensitive, stiff

(五羊) 2008-04-17 02:45
下面是引用休止于2008-04-14 21:53发表的:
Sleeping pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night .He went to see his doctor and he gave him some sleeping pills.

sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake before the alarm .He took his time getting to the office ,walked in and said to his boss:"i didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning ."
.......

哈哈,这不是弟弟你的亲身经历吧?哈哈哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~


下面是引用雨衾于2008-04-15 09:06发表的:
[color=purple]

Secret For a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
.......

The morale of this story: it takes time to build a healthy body, but it takes no time to crash it.


下面是引用雨衾于2008-04-16 09:12发表的:
[color=purple]A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"


.......

if he is my husband, he is dead meat! hahaha~~~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-17 09:38
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
  Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.

妈妈:玛丽,你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。

玛丽:妈妈,艾迪当然不会出声了,因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢,他扮演爸爸,我扮演你。

(五羊) 2008-04-18 01:13
well, parents' examples are very important~~~ hoho~~~~~~~~~~

yuqin9307 2008-04-18 09:19
I know a method how to tell our parents their visualize in our effect~~~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-18 09:21
I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。

“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?”

“听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。”

(五羊) 2008-04-19 01:15
下面是引用yuqin9307于2008-04-18 09:19发表的:
I know a method how to tell our parents their visualize in our effect~~~~~~~~~

what method?

落花缤纷 2008-04-20 22:21
I think more women were crazed in the season sales campaign.

yuqin9307 2008-04-21 16:05
下面是引用落花缤纷于2008-04-20 22:21发表的:
I think more women were crazed in the season sales campaign.


I quite agree with you~~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-21 16:27
At the cleaner's, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready," he said.


  "But your sign says, 'In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.'," I reminded him.



  "Oh," he replied, "that means me.



Notes:



  remind v.提醒



Exercises:



根据短文回答下列问题:



  ① Where was the author?



  ② What did he notice?



  ③ What did the sign say?



  ④ What request did the author make to the owner?



  ⑤ What effect did the sign have?



80.招客有方



  在洗衣店,我看到招牌上写着:“上午10点进,下午5点出。”因此我就告诉店主我想在下午5点取衣。“下午5点还不能取,”他说。



  “但是你的牌子上写着:‘上午10点进,下午5点出’,”我提醒他说。

      “哦,”他回答说,“那指的是我。”



练习参考答案:



  ① He was at the cleaner's.



  ② He noticed a sign.



  ③ It said: "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 P. M.



  ④ He told the owner that he wanted to collect his clothing at five.



  ⑤ The sign had the power of inducing.

yuqin9307 2008-04-22 10:24

The Attraction of the Map

Mr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"

Notes:


  (1) subject n.题目


  (2) audience n .听众


  (3) jokingly adv. 开玩笑地


Exercises:


根据短文填空:


  (1) Mr. Smith taught ________ at a school.


  (2) He liked to have one of his students give a ______ on any subject.


  (3) Jack told his audience about his elder brother who was a _____ worker.


  (4) During his report, Jack didn't look at the _______ .


  (5) Jack looked at the world map all the time because he was ______ .


地图的引力


  史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。在每次课的开始,他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演,题材不限。轮到杰克作讲演时,他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在当地工作。但在讲述过程中,杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。他开玩笑似地对杰克说:“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥,他现在在南美还好吗?”


练习参考答案


① English ② report ③ local ④ audience ⑤ nervous

yuqin9307 2008-04-22 10:33
I don't think it's a joke~~~~~~~

It is not playful~~~~~~~~

just study English~~~~~~~~~

(五羊) 2008-04-22 21:29
if you think deeper about it, it's actually quite funny~~~~ ^_^

yuqin9307 2008-04-23 09:49
下面是引用(五羊)于2008-04-22 21:29发表的:
if you think deeper about it, it's actually quite funny~~~~ ^_^

Yes ,I do. It just like we say why don't you face us but stare at the floor,are you counting the ants?

yuqin9307 2008-04-23 09:52
I'm Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer it

A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off.

  "sounds great," the scientist said.


  When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.


  "Yes," said one processor.Then he launched into a highly technical question.


  The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it. "


Notes:


  (1) on one's way (to)某人在……的路上


  (2) chauffeur n.受雇驾驶私人汽车之司机


  (3) give you the night off让你休息一个晚上


  (4) auditorium n.礼堂


  (5) settle v.使安身;使安定


  (6) launch into开始


  (7) panic-stricken adj.惊慌失措的


Exercises:


根据短文回答问题:


  ① Why did the chauffeur think he could deliver the lecture?
  ② What did the scientist think of the idea?
  ③ Where did the scientist sit when they got to the auditorium?
  ④ What kind of question did one professor ask?
  ⑤ Did the chauffeur spoil the lecture?
7.让我的司机来回答

  一个著名科学家起程去再作一个讲座。他的司机出了个主意:“老板,您的讲座我已听了这么多次了。我打赌我能作这个讲座,让您休息一个晚上。”

  “那太好了。”科学家说。

  到了礼堂,科学家戴上了司机的帽子,坐在了后排。而司机走上了讲台,作讲演。讲演结束后,他问听众是否有什么问题。

  一个教授说有,并提出了一个高深的学术问题。

  司机一时被问懵了,但很快就镇定下来。“这很容易,”他说,“太容易了,我要让我的司机来回答。”

练习参考答案:
  ① Because he had heard the scientist's lecture many times.
  ② He thought it was great.
  ③ In the back row.
  ④ A highly technical question.
  ⑤ No, he didn't.

(五羊) 2008-04-24 02:28
quite a smart guy, both of them~~~~ hoho~~~~~~~~

yuqin9307 2008-04-24 09:17
the chauffeur did not spoil the lecture~~~~~~~~

雨衾 2008-04-28 09:22
Where Do You Want These Blinds


A drill sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room in the
barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtful they
could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and
painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door . "Who is
it?" asked one of the women.

  "Blind man, "came the reply.

  Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door.

  "Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "Now, where do you want
these blinds?"

Notes:

  (1) drill n .军事训练;操练如: The soldiers were at drill in the barrack
square.兵士们在营房的操场上操练。

  (2) sergeant n.中士

  (3) recruits n.新兵

  (4) barracks n.兵营;营房如:The barracks are quite new.那些营房相当新。

  (5) doubtful adj.怀疑的;不能确定的

  (6) ruin v.使毁灭;使败坏

  (7) strip v.脱下;除去

  (8) nude n.裸体人像

  (9) knockouts n.动人的人或物

  (10) blind adj.盲的;瞎的n.卷式窗帘

Exercises:

根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F):

  ① Three young female recruits were ordered to paint the room.

  ② They were required not to get any paint on their uniforms.

  ③ The women painted the room in nude with the door unlocked.

  ④ The women thought a blind man could not see them naked.

  ⑤ "A blind man " in this passage refers to a man who makes or sends blinds.

窗帘挂于何处

  一位军事训练中士命令两个年轻的女兵去油漆营房里的一间屋子,并一再强调不得把漆弄到她们的制服上。她们很怀疑能不把衣服弄脏,所以就把门插上,脱了衣服,裸体在里面油漆。大约一个小时过后,她们听到有人敲门。


  “谁呀?”其中一女子问。

  “送窗帘的(与‘盲人’同音同词----编者),”来者答道。

  她们觉得让一个盲人进来无妨,就开了门。

  “哇,多动人的人儿呀!”那男子惊奇地说,“现在你们想把窗帘挂在哪儿?”

练习参考答案:

①T②T③F④T⑤T

yuqin9307 2008-04-30 09:21

Whose Dog Was the Smartest

Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.

  The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.


  The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.


  The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. " With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.


Notes:


  (1) do (show) your stuff显显你的本领;露一手


  (2) trot v. 疾走;快步走


  (3) triangle n.三角形


  (4) accountant n会计


  (5) nibble v.轻咬


  (6) beckon v.招手令他人走近或跟着来


  (7) ounce n.盎司(重量单位,常衡为1/16磅)


  (8) holler v.喊叫


  (9) soil v.弄脏;弄污


Exercises:


根据短文回答问号问题:


  ① What were the four friends arguing about?


  ② What did the first man's dog do?


  ③ How many parts did the second man's dog divide the cookies into?


  ④ How much milk did the third man's dog pour into the measuring cup?


  ⑤ Can we find out whose dog was the smartest?


谁的狗最聪明


  四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。第一个人是个工程师,他对自己的狗喊道:“T形角,使出你的本领来。”这只狗便跑向一个书桌,拉出一张纸和一支铅笔,画出了一个完美的三角形。


  第二个人是个会计。他对他的狗说:“珠算法,上吧。”那狗直奔厨房,用嘴咬开一袋甜饼并把饼分成了四等份。


  第三个人是位药剂师。他命令他的狗----量杯,表现一下。但见那狗径直走向冰箱,叼出一瓶牛奶并精确地把八盎司牛奶倒入一个量杯中。


  最后一位是政府职员。“休息时间,”他对自己的狗喊叫,“去吧。”话还未落,那狗便跳将起来,踏污了那张纸,吃掉了所有的甜饼,喝光了那杯牛奶。


练习参考答案:


  ① They were arguing about whose dog was the smartest.


  ② He drew a perfect triangle.


  ③ Four.


  ④ Eight ounces.


  ⑤ The fourth man's dog was the smartest

yuer_sh 2008-04-30 15:28
这个主题好,我会经常来的.谢谢楼主!

yuqin9307 2008-05-04 09:12
下面是引用yuer_sh于2008-04-30 15:28发表的:
这个主题好,我会经常来的.谢谢楼主!

Welcome ~~~~~~~~~

study english together~~~~

yuqin9307 2008-05-04 09:13
Nest and Hair

  My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a
bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

  "What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

  "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

  "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

  "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

  (1) inform v.告诉

  (2) nest n.窝;巢

  (3) description n.描述

  (4) encourage v.鼓励

  (5) resemble v. 相似;类似

Exercises:

根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F):

  ① The teacher was told by a boy student that a bird had built a nest in the
tree outside the classroom.

  ② The teacher was greatly surprised when she heard the news.

  ③ The child told the teacher where the bird had gone.

  ④ The teacher wanted to seize the chance to get the child to learn how to
describe a thing.

  (5) The child did give a vivid description.

18.鸟窝与头发

  我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。

  “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。

  “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

  “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。

  “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”

练习参考答案:

①F②F③F④T⑤T

(五羊) 2008-05-04 11:22
呵呵,让我想起某人的头发~~~~~~

yuqin9307 2008-05-04 11:26
下面是引用(五羊)于2008-05-04 11:22发表的:
呵呵,让我想起某人的头发~~~~~~


it just resembles mybrother's hair~~~~~~

(五羊) 2008-05-05 04:53
下面是引用yuqin9307于2008-05-04 11:26发表的:


it just resembles mybrother's hair~~~~~~

haha, seems like a lot of guys' hair styles in China are like that. i really don't understand why they would like to have a nest sit right on top of their heads. Aren't they concern about if a bird will land right into in it and rest? hahahaha~~~~~

yuqin9307 2008-05-06 09:10

A Bad Doctor

A man walked into a doctor's examining room.
  "Put out your tongue," the doctor said.

  The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.

  "0. K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "it's clear what's wrong with you . You need more exercise."

  "But, doctor, " the man said. "I don't think--"

  " Don't tell I me what you think, " the doctor said 揑 am the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least 20 minutes a day. "

  "Doctor, you don't understand," the patient said "I -"

  "I don't want to hear any excuses, " the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. If you don't, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older. "

  "But I walk every clay," the patient said.

  "Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few more feet from the station to your office , and a few more feet from your office to a restaurant for lunch and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day. "

  Please listen to me, doctor! " the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor who thought he knew everything.

  "I'm a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day. "

  For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, will you?"

Notes:

  (1) examining room检查室

  (2) mailman n.邮递员

Exercises:

根据短文选择正确答案:

  ① The first thing the doctor asked the man to do was to_____ .

  A. walk to work

  B. exercise

  C. show him his tongue

  D. see hundreds of other patients

  ② The doctor would not_____ .

  A. tell the patient what was wrong with him

  B. let the patient speak

  C. took at the man's tongue

  D. let the patient watch television

  ③ The doctor told the man that he____ .

  A. should get more exercise

  B. should stop making excuses

  C. should watch more television

  D. was already too fat

  ④ The doctor_____ .

  A. gave him good advice

  B. walked seven hours a day

  C. was really a mailman

  D. was wrong

  ⑤ So we can know _____.

  A. the man was very lazy

  B. the man should do more exercise

  C. the doctor was very kind to the patient

  D. the man was not a good and careful doctor

23.庸医

  一人走进一家诊所。

  “伸出舌头,”医生说。

  那人伸出舌头,医生很快地看了一下。

  “好了,把舌头缩回去吧。”医生说,“你的病因很明显。你需要更多的运动。”

  “但是,医生,”那人说,“我不认为----”

  “不要告诉我你认为怎么样,”医生说,“我是医生,不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计的你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分钟。”

  “医生,你不知道,”病人说,“我----”

  “我不想听任何理由。”医生说,“你应该抽出时间来运动。如果你不锻炼,那么当你老的时候,你就会变得很胖,并且有健康问题。”

  “但我每天都走路的,”病人说。

  “喔,是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步。你走几英尺的路,从家到火车站,又走几英尺从车站到办公室,然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆去吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园里散步20分钟。”

  “请听我说,医生!”病人叫起来,对那位自以为什么都知道的医生很生气。

  “我是一名邮递员,”病人接着说,“我每天得走7小时的路。”

  医生闷在那里半天无语。然后他轻声地说:“再把你的舌头伸出来,行吗?”

练习参考答案:

①C②B③A④D⑤D

雨衾 2008-05-07 10:06

I Never Work after Supper
  A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field,, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"

  The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.

  When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's have supper too. " They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.

  "Now that the meals are out of the way, " the farmer announced, we can go out and work all day without interruption. "

  "Oh, no, " the farmhand answered. " I never work after supper.

Notes:

  (1) penny-pinching adj.吝啬的

  (2) hired hand n. 帮手

  (3) nuisance n. 讨厌的事物、人、行为等

  (4) wash up洗

  (5) be out of the way解决某事

  (6) interruption n.打断某人

Exercises:

根据短文选择正确答案:

  ①How many people did the farmer hire to work in his field?

  A. One

  B. Two

  C. Three

  D. Four

  ② What, according to the farmer, was a nuisance?

  A. to come back from the field

  B. to wash up for lunch

  C. to take time to eat

  D. All of the above.

  ③ Why did the farmer urge the farmhand to eat three meals together?

  A. Because the farmhand was always hungry.

  B. Because the farmer's wife prepared three meals at one time.

  C. Because he was not willing to let the farmhand have a rest.

  D. Because the crops in the field had to be harvested in no time.

  ④ We can see from the passage that the farmer

  A. was too vicious

  B. did not like the farmhand

  C. was too mean

  D. was very hospitable

  ⑤ We can infer from the passage that the farmhand

  A. was slow-witted

  B. was very greedy

  C. was very lazy

  D. was a clever man

19.我晚饭后从不工作

  一位农场主非常吝啬,不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上,他对帮手说:“从地里回来,又要洗手吃饭,又花时间,真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间,现在就吃午饭呢?”

  雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是,两个人又开始吃起来。

  吃完后,吝啬鬼说:“既然我们还在桌子边,让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。

  “现在三顿饭都吃过了,”农场主宣称道,“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”

  “哦,不,”那帮手回答说,“晚饭后我从不工作。”

练习参考答案:

①A②D③C④C⑤D

雨衾 2008-05-09 09:20
搞笑短信


Roses are red,
violence is blue,
...
Someone like you
belongs to the zoo!


Don't be mad,
don't be blue,
Einstein was
ugly too!


Every morning I pray2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
Why should I be the only to
suffer...??


CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this.


A-ur attractive
B-ur beautiful
C-ur caring
D-ur delicous
E-ur exciting
F-ur funny
G-ur gorgeous
H-ur heavenly
I-IM
J-JUST
K-KIDDING
L-LOSER!

朋友之间的短信


Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know
I need u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u
will never die.


I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave
me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me
you.


To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.


If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden
& cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

恋人之间的短信


A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T   V W X Y Z
oopz! i miss "U"


Yes,baby. God made you first, but there is always a rough draft
before the final copy. :)


If I had the letter "HRT", I can add "EA" to get heart or a "U" and
get "HURT". But Id rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than to have
a "HEART" without "U".

充满智慧的短信


God gave u 2 legs to walk.2 hands to hold.2 ears to hear.2 eyes to
see.But why did he giv u only 1 Heart? Probably because He wants
you to look for the other.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery.today is a gift that is
why we call it the present!

yuqin9307 2008-05-13 09:32

快速靠岸 Reached Shore Fast

A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

  在休伦湖钓完鱼后,我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机,不过,他想,也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是,他爬到他的船里面,启动了无线装置,喊道,“求救,求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应,“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路,Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后,警官问我的朋友,“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”

(五羊) 2008-05-14 00:23
进来看看可爱的帖子,心情好很多了~~~~~~~

休止 2008-05-14 01:48
From Girlfriend To stepmother

A:Why aren't you married yet ?

B:My girlfriend wouldn't marry me.

A:Why not ?

B:BEcuase i'm not rich enough.

A:But your father owns a very big farm ,and he hasn't many years to live .You should told your girlfriend that .

B: i did ,so she is my stempmother now.


                          从女朋友到继母

A:你为什么还没结婚?
B:我的女朋友不肯嫁给我。
A:为什么不肯呢?
B:因为我没有钱。
A:但是你父亲拥有一个很大的农场,而且他也活不了多久了。你应该把这告诉你的女朋友。
B:我告诉她了,因此她现在成了我的继母。

yuqin9307 2008-05-14 08:54
下面是引用休止于2008-05-14 01:48发表的:
From Girlfriend To stepmother

A:Why aren't you married yet ?

B:My girlfriend wouldn't marry me.
.......


I have to say it's a cold joke~~~~~~~~


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